Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

I’m sure you already do, but I wanted to make sure you knew about this.

annefrankzappa:

http://io9.com/5892116/theft-of-nic-cages-action-comics-no-1-to-become-a-movie-but-not-starring-nic-cage

Look.

paulftompkins:

We all know Facebook might as well be jury duty for how dull and irritating and obligatory it has come to feel. But every so often, it is gloriously redeemed.

Like.

The 30 Harshest Filmmaker-on-Filmmaker Insults in History →

(Source: filmcrack)

sailorswayze:

why did i immediately think of

(Source: sunofbeach)

annefrankzappa:

dyinggod:

.tahw uoy llet I, seirossecca enaporp dna enaporp lles I.

bastardfromabasket:

Shia Labeouf

howardbealing:

mymotherthescorpion:

howardbealing:

hiddlestone replied to your post: new icon

WUT ? This is David Fincher ??? OMG

aaawww yeaahh

da coolest kid in school

building rollercoasters and shit

he’s da rollercoasta masta

peeing in the soup at lunch

splicing porn into the announcements

he’s daaavid

cutting girls’ heads off

and putting them in boxes

he’s daaavid

#smang ya tarantinio from dusk till dawn is the best lyric to ever exist

(Source: thetpr)

azizisbored:

Chelsea Peretti and I have just finished the poster for our Think Like a Man reboot… 

popculturebrain:

The Breakfasting Clubbad. 

(via leavemebea, BWE)

(Source: hellobs)

suicideblonde:

A new Parks and Rec gag reel has just been released!  

“I’m Audrey Horne and I get what I want.”

(Source: radleys)

Phil, this wasn’t fucking amateur hour. PEOPLE DIED BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SUPERVISION. THERE WERE RAPTORS ALL UP IN THE KITCHEN PHIL. IN THE GOD DAMN KITCHEN.

YOU HAD ONE JOB PHIL. ONE JOB.

(Source: thesimonpeter)

maybe if eli roth didn’t spend his time taking pics on instagram like a teenage girl looking for a photography scholarship in taking pictures of shoes we wouldn’t have this problem

— me to my brother (via sailorswayze)